Updated: Dec 3, 2021
People used to strive to be polite and show their best side to the public. Parents used to teach their children good manners, but it appears that's not the case now. Even an adult's manners have suffered lately. What they may not realize is that bad behavior leaves a lasting impression on anyone who sees them.
„Good manners open the closed doors, bad manners close the open doors.” - Mehmet Murat Ildan
Here are some of the most common bad manners.
Don´t let your mood affect your manners, watch your mouth
You are not going to be in a great mood one hundered percent of the time, it´s absolutely normal. We often face stress and exhaustion. But there is no excuse for bad manners and disrespect!
Never let your bad mood affect how you speak to people. Being nice to others in all situations is the most important rule of etiquette you can follow. You may not know proper placement of dinnerware of when to use which fork, but most people will forgive you for those small infractions. However, being rude to people is something that you may not be able to undo. Politeness extends to everyone you come in contact with, from the servers at restaurants to your boss and other company executives. Not being nice to these people shows a lack of character on your part.
Prioritize people over phones, don´t use your phone at the dinner table
In the digital age that we live in today, it is almost impossible that someone can go one evening without checking their phones. Don´t place your phone at the dinner table, no matter how tempting it is. No matter whether you are on a date or chatting with a friend. By placing your phone face up you are saying that your phone is more important than the conversation and can easily be distrected by it. Remember that face-to-face interaction with the person in front of you is more important. Put your cell phone away during conversations with others, during meals and at meetings. Give others the gift of your full attention and enjoy the present moment.
If your cell phone rings, or you receive a text that needs immediate response, politely excuse yourself and keep all electronic contact brief.
Don´t forget to say "please" and "thank you"
While "please" and "thank you" are part of most people´s vocabularies by the time they hit their 30s, that doesn´t mean they´re using them anywhere near enough. If you want to be the most polite version of yourself, these expressions of humility and
gratitude should be used every time you´re asking for something or have received a courtesy from someone else. Of all of the manners you should teach your children, reminding them (and yourself) to say "please" and "thank you" is important. People like to be appreciated, even in this tiny way.
Don´t be always late
We all run late from time to time, and that´s totally understandable. However, being a consistently late person is one etiquette mistake, you can´t efford to keeep making. It shows that your time is more valuable than their time. It´s showing disrespect for the person you are meeting. When you agree to show up a certain time, be there on time. If you are occasionally late, you will probably be forgiven if it isn´t something you do often. Always call and let someone know your circumstances and your estimated time of arrival.
Don´t be too self-absorbeed
When chatting with friends, family, or coworkers, give them equal time during the conversation. You don´t want people to see you as narcissistic or self-absorbed. The best way to have a decent conversation with someone is to ask questions about him or her and then be attentive. If you are a good listener, chances are the person will turn around and ask you questions. Back-and-forth conversation is more enjoyable for both parties and will gain you favour among people you care about. Part of being a good conversationalist is knowing when to stop talking and when to listen instead.
Don’t ask rude questions
There are a lot of questions you may not realize are rude. You may thin you are just being friendly and though your intentions may be good with these inquiries and others, asking certain things is actually asking for a little too much information. Asking about religion, money or politics is known to be rude, but it´s also rude to ask about relationship status, weight and sexuality.
Some questions you maybe didn´t know were rude:
How much did this personal item cost you?
When are you getting married?
How much do you earn?
What do you think about religion/politics..?
What is your religion?
Are you pregnant?
Are you gay?
How old are you?
Why are you not having children?
Don’t say something online that you wouldn´t say in person
Once someone else sees what you post, there´s no way taking it back. It doesn´t have to be in social media - it can be any email or text that you don´t write carefully. Here is the golden rule about communicating with your device - always ask if it´s something you´d have the courage to say face-to-face. That rules out hateful or derogatory posts. That means when you discuss sensitive issues, you have to choose your words wisely.
Never be unkind to disabled people or make fun of them
People often feel obligated to look a certain way to live up to society´s expectations. But what happens when you can´t change how you look? What happens when you have a visible disability? People always look at them, point finfers, poke fun and can be extremely rude or hurtful about their health condition. Jokes about disabilities are not funny. I am not over sensitive, I love to laugh. But I want to laugh about things that are funny. Joking about people with disabilities is not funny. It´s cruel. Don´t ignore someone who is disabled. When you spot a wheelchair-bound person in a grocery store, ask if you can help get something off a top-shelf. That should take you about a second, and it will be good for everyone. Never park in a spot designated for a handicapped person, unless you are handicapped.