Who are you when nobody's watching? What are you passionate about and are you really who you want to be?
I highly encourage you to become the person you really want to be without fear of being fully seen. Only then you can find your people. That's the reason why my first tips are about how to become the person you aspire to be.
Remember: No one is you and that's your power!
Here are some tips how you can become the person you always needed to be.
Tip #1 - Stop worrying about what other people think of you
I know. Easy to say, hard to do. But if you start paying less and less attention to what makes you YOU and start conforming to what others may or may not think, you will harm your potential. You have to realize that when other people judge you, it´s not about them. It´s actually about you. Because when another person judges you, your insecurity just opens the door and you start judging yourself with their judgements.
You take it as a reality, as a truth. But when you know your truth, when you believe in yourself, that´s when you can tell yourself: "I am a good person, I know what I want/what I do and I don´t need anybody else´s opinion."
Of course, there are people who don´t want to spend time with you and don´t like you. It´s absolutely normal. The most important is knowing that you are doing your best. And then if people like it or don´ t, it´s absolutely okay. It´s not going to change who you are.
Tip #2 - Be very clear about the behavior and habits you want to develop
If you want to achieve meaningful change, you need to be specific. So it´s best to pick one specific area or behavior to focus on and build from there. You can find a role model as well. Observe and learn from their behavior.
Spend some time practicing at home by yourself at first.
Then practice with trusted family and friends. Taking the first step is important, but what will create the change you desire is making a consistent effort over time. Practice it every day - change is a shift in lifestyle. It requires daily dedication, to the point where that new habit takes the place of an old one and no longer requires conscious effors.
Tip #3 - Let go of who you are, to become who you want to be and break bad habits
Becoming the better version of yourself isn´t only about what you do - it requires qiving up lower and weaker forms of yourself. What does it mean?
You have to give up the idea of who you think you are, experiences that you´ve had, the things that you´ve been told, etc.
Identify what is stopping you. Most of your bad habits are caused by two things: stress and boredom. But it doesn´t have to be that way. You can teach yourself new and healthy ways to deal with stress and boredom, which you can then substitute in place of your bad habits.
Tip #4 - Cut out toxic relationships
Don´t be suprised if old friends and acquaintances don´t support you. Some people will try to convince you that it´s just not possible to change. They may even try to make you feel guilty for trying.
Don´t argue with people who criticize your choices. Simply say something like, "I was unhappy before and I am trying to be a better me."
If you have a friend or loved one who still bothers you about the changes you are making, then you may want to take some time away from that person.
Tip #5 - Who inspires you? Find your role models!
A great place to begin is to think about people you admire. Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and make a list of the people you admire most. It´s one of those questions that doesn´t have a "wrong" answer.
Find people who are doing things you admire, things you find interesting and inspire you.
Read about them, about their stories, about their habits. What do they do on daily basis? This would help you find your path. Warren Buffett once said: "I tell the students in classes - just pick up the person you admire and write the reasons why you admire them and then try and figure out why you can´t have those same qualities. But you have to start early, it´s very tough to change behavior later on." When he had a television show with Bill Gates, he also said: "If I know a person´s role model, I can pretty well tell what kind of a person he is and what kind of a future he has."
Tip #6 - Act like the person you want to become
In other words, act as if you are already the person that you want to be. When you image your future, you can have this ideal picture of you in your mind. This person dresses and talks differently, acts a certain way, make certain decitions. You need to actually become this person first. Only then you will start being able to reach your goals.
Whenever you have a decision or problem in front of you, you need to think about what this person would do. And then? Just do it.
" Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it´s different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don´t worry about what people say about you or think about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying." - Elen DeGeneres